Yer Cap'n has not seen the new POTC movie Harrrrrr. It is all Lisa the Means fault Harrrrr. She is in Iowa and has been for several days Harrrrr.
She did text yer Cap'n saying she stopped at Hot Topic and got yer Cap'n something with POTC on it for yer Cap'n harrrr. Do they even have a Hot Topic in Iowa???? Harrrrr How can yer Cap'n believe Lisa the mean Harrrrr. She is not here and I don't have the present she supposedly got for yer Cap'n Harrrrr. When and if she ever comes home we are going to have some words Harrrr.
Cap'n Maverick the Pirate